Migrate

Hey guys!

Just want to let you know that I have migrated my blog "the King's daughter" onto a new site --- my own domain.  Yay!...so excited with this!... 

I will not take this blogsite down, but I will no longer be updating it.  I will begin posting all of my writings on the new site.

Here's the link to it:  http://kezia-lewis.com/    

OR you can simply click the upper right tab entitled "the king's daughter (NEW)" and it will take you to my new blogsite.

I hope to see you there!

In Our Messiah's Love,

Kezia

Soldiers, Not In Uniform

Indeed, we are fighting soldiers not in uniform.  The enemy’s tactics have always been deceitful and subtle.  He doesn’t wave his flag and announce that his troops are coming.  He takes forms that appear normal, even necessary, to us.   He uses truths and objects that are genuine and twists them just a little; they’re almost unrecognizable, we don’t see them coming.

But we are different.

As covenant children of God, we put on God’s uniform.  We are adorned by His grace and clothed by His salvation.  We are marked for Him.  There is no concealing who we are.  As warriors for His faith, we raise His banner blatantly announcing our declaration of war against the enemy. 

And we become targets.

There is a war --- a real one --- happening right now; we should not be oblivious to this.  We are fighting and warring against soldiers who are not in uniform all around us.  Daily, we are bombarded with cruel attacks by these soldiers.  Hourly, we are being lied to and misled by these soldiers.  They are not wasting, not even a millisecond, to assault us in any way possible.  We should put on the whole armor of God that we may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil for he is ever watchful of an opportunity to disarm us and to trick us.  We should live a wartime lifestyle, for we are in the midst of the great war; the only war that will cost us our souls and our lives for eternity.

The moment I decided to carry out what God has been asking me for years to do I waged war against the principalities, against powers, and against the rulers of the darkness of this age, and against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  I felt opposition from all sides because I was waving God’s banner and exclaiming my being a soldier for Him. 

I feel that opposition here in Thailand, even stronger and more insidious than before.  I can sense the enemy trying with all his might and his best to stop me from doing what God wants me to fulfill, and he seems to be winning.  The hostility of his attacks is painful and confusing.  At times, I feel discouraged and disappointed.  Other times, I start feeling so inadequate and ill-equipped.   When I am at these states, I panic; I cry my heart out lost in my emotion. 

Then in one of my quiet times with the Lord this week, He spoke to me.  He showed me that He is my Banner. 

And Moses built an altar and called its name, “The-Lord-Is-My-Banner; for he said, “Because the Lord has sworn: the Lord will have war with Amalek from generation to generation.”

Exodus 17:15–16

The Lord is my banner.  I am His soldier.  I belong to Him.  He has sworn to fight for me.  To wrestle against me is to combat against the power of my God.  To battle against my God is to lose.  God has shown me that I will come out victorious no matter the opposition I have all around, for He has already won the war.   This promise gave me not only comfort, but confidence to continue the fight; that because the enemy is trying so hard to pull me down I must be doing something right.  It must be scaring him.  It must be driving him crazy.

I will continue to have ups and downs in the call God has given me, but I now have renewed strength and a promise to hold on to.  He is my banner.  He has sworn to make war on those who oppose His children doing His work.

The enemy, however cunningly and severely he charges, will not be able to stand against my God. 

“But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one.”

2 Thessalonians 3:3

The Royal Priesthood: Differences Jesus Has Made In My Life

“He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps.  He has put a new song in my mouth --- Praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.”  Psalm 40:2 – 3

 

We are now at the tail–end of our study of the book Esther, and I am simply out of words at how God has used this study (once more) to reveal fresh truths in my heart --- in my life.  It has helped me look at how God has shaped me over the years granting me more than enough grace I needed for each trial and triumph.  Indeed, it has been an exciting walk with my God.

 

One of the questions we talked about during our study was: What differences has Jesus made in your life that are outward signs of your new identity as a member of the royal priesthood?

This made me reflect on my own journey with the Lord, on how I have grown in my relationship with Him, and on how He has continually reshaped my own view of the world.  So, I started to make a list of the differences Jesus has made in my life that are not only outward signs of my new identity in Him, but are inward evidences of the work He is doing in me signifying that I am His child. 

I have a desire to know Him more in my life and to make Him known. 

I grew up in a religious family, and so I always knew and accepted that there is a God.  I regularly went to church and prayed, but only because I had fear that I might be punished for not doing so or for fear that God’s hand might be against me if I don’t utter a prayer to Him.  My view of God while growing up is that of a guy who controls everything from a distance, and I better get Him on my side or I would be in trouble.  But all that changed when I personally met Him during a life crisis in my college years.  Life, for me, definitely made a huge turn-around.  The hunger in my heart to know Him more and to make Him known became increasingly intense.  He sought me out daily, and I couldn’t help but respond to Him.  This has never ceased, but only became stronger each day.

I have a desire to pray for people and a burden to share the Gospel.

Growing up, I have prayed --- at least a hundred times --- over and over again the same prescribed prayers at church services or church-organized activities.  I was not really taught how to pray to a loving God who is a Father, and I never really knew how to relate to Him especially since I did not grow up with my own father.  So in a way, I would pray mechanical prayers.  I do, however, remember praying in my own words during my high school and college years.  Mostly, I prayed for my classes to get good scores on tests, for asking stuff that I needed then, or for asking him to keep my family and friends safe in His hand.  But even with those prayers, I did not know for sure that I could pray for them.  I just, somehow, said them in my prayers.  I know now, for sure, it was God who has prompted my young, impressionable heart to pray for those things on my own. 

Now, God has placed a burden for me not only to pray for myself or my family, but to pray for other people who may not even be my friend; strangers to me personally, and especially those who have not yet accepted Him in their lives.  He has placed these individuals in my heart, and He has given me a burden to pray for them and to share to them the gospel.  This inclination to pray for these people is, unmistakably, from Him.  Only He can give me the heart to love others, for I know I am more inclined to loving my own.

Lastly (for this writing), but certainly not the least and definitely not the last on the list of the differences God has done in my life, I have the desire to be in fulltime missions.

Working and earning independently are things that I learned early on in my life.  I started selling stuff in school when I was 10 years old.  I was taught early on what income, expenses, and profit meant.  I knew how much I would price my items to get enough to cover what I spent on the items I sell and enough profit so I can at least see some earnings.  In high school, I continued selling stuff --- better stuff.  And at the same time, I would sometimes work on the catering business of my aunt to prepare hundreds of lunch boxes and to also serve hundreds of lunch and dinner plates.  I would be exhausted, but I would be overwhelmed with joy when I get my wages.  In college, I still sold stuff; and again, better stuff than what I sold in high school.  And I also started working part-time at fast food restaurants.  I would go to school during the day, and work through the night.  And when I graduated, God blessed me with a teaching job two months after I graduated.  And even with my teaching employment, I still ventured out and sold stuff to earn more. 

My life has been defined with work and earning.  I don’t particularly like asking people for anything at all, let alone money.  So when God called me to the mission field, I was not jumping up and down with happiness.  I was instantly thinking about the savings I have and how I can use that so I can go to missions without raising funds.   But even that, God took away almost as fast as I thought of it.  He wanted me to rely on Him.  And, I did.  The next thing I knew, I was flying to China fully-funded.  I was beyond humbled with how God worked it out for me despite how uncomfortable I felt with raising funds.   He wanted me to trust Him and not my seemingly capable hands.  I know I could have not raised the money I needed if He was not behind all of it.

The desire to be in missions stuck with me after that.  And I knew, then, He wanted me to go fulltime.  I had to give up working and earning.  He wanted me to fully trust Him for what I will need daily.  And ever since, He has never failed to provide for us through people who have given to my husband and me sacrificially.  And we are always grateful; always humbled for the generosity of these fellow brothers and sisters and for how God has touched their hearts to partner with us in His work here in Thailand.

When I look back, I know I am not the same girl who saw God as a distant being who controlled people’s lives.  I know I am not the same daughter who thought she can never experience having a father to cry out to.  I know I am not the same woman who used to think that she can only trust herself to provide for her needs. 

I am a member of the royal priesthood.   I am a covenant child of God.  I am blatantly identifiable in robes of righteousness and garments of salvation (taken from Beth Moore.)

I am God’s. 

This is all because of Jesus, and what He has done on the cross for me.

 

On Haman and Pride

In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.  (Psalm 62:7, NKJV)

Eager for the Lord’s revelations, I have been studying the book of Esther with some of God’s warrior princesses.  As we have been digging into the story of this beautiful and courageous woman of the Bible, I reflect on what God is saying and not saying on these pages of the Scripture.  And on these pages, I am embarrassed to admit that I (unfortunately) see more of myself in Haman than I would want to think.

Maybe I am not alone on this.  Maybe most of us, if not all of us, can identify with Haman’s obsession of himself.

Like Haman, we can become self-absorbed constantly wrought with ourselves --- our strengths and our weaknesses, our successes and our failures, our past, our present, and our future --- invariably plagued with either wanting to be honored or wanting to be invisible in a crowd.  In both cases, we have narrowed our focus on ourselves.  And like Haman, we can easily jump into presumptions that honor or disgrace is ours when certain situations arise.  God help us! 

Pride is so destructive and so subtle that at times we can be so consumed by it we don’t even realize it has taken us captive.  It can also take different forms and manifest itself in different areas of our lives.   To esteem ourselves extremely high or extremely low is a characterization of the condition of our hearts and how the lies of the enemy have taken root in our lives. 

God has shown me through this study that I suffer from this dangerous condition.  And I am grateful that He has shown me this so I can begin the process of breaking free from it.  It will not be an easy undertaking, but I know that with His truths I can begin walking victoriously free from this bondage. 

I keep a prayer journal so I can look back and see how God is working in my life.  Below is a prayer (using Colossians 2:18) I wrote to Him a few days ago as I continue the battle with pride.

“Forgive me, Father, for the wickedness in my heart and the pride that I have allowed to consume me.  I pray, dear Lord, let no one cheat me of my reward, let me not take delight in false humility and worship of angels, and may I not be vainly puffed up by my fleshly mind.  Help me to break free from the stronghold of my pride and self-righteousness.  Help me to live my life victorious over these, open to love others as You love them; and to have Your wisdom.”  (January 29, 2013, Journal Entry)

I am sharing what God has revealed to me not so that I can embarrass myself, but because I want you to know that God is not going to leave you just the way you are right now.  He is doing a work to perfect you and to help you grow more as His child.  During one of the study times with the book of Esther, He showed me this verse that really spoke volumes to my heart. 

“In God is my salvation and my glory; the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.”  (Psalm 62:7)

Indeed, in God is my salvation and my glory!  Indeed, in God is my strength and my refuge!  No one else can give me what I truly need but Him.  This world is so fickle-minded and can quickly change from being for you to being against you.  I love the way Beth Moore said something about following Mordecai’s example of not allowing honor to get in your head.

“Let’s pursue a walk with God so close that the spotlights of this world --- be they for us or against us --- are eclipsed by His enormous shadow cast on our path.  There in the shelter of the Most High we find our significance and the only satisfaction of our insatiable need to be noticed.  There and there alone we are free to be neither depressed nor impressed with the capricious reactions of this carnal world.”  (Beth Moore, Esther:  It’s Tough Being A Woman)

 

Oh, I pray this over you sister!  I pray that you and I walk so closely with our God that whatever honor or disgrace this world may offer us is going to be overshadowed by His presence.

On Persistence

My God is persistent.  He is persistent on loving me, persistent on burning in me, persistent on keeping me wholly for Him. 

This is what He revealed to me about Himself in the last few weeks. 

October 19, 2012 was the expiration date of my Thai non-immigrant visa.  This visa is the hinge of all our documents here --- my work permit, Jason’s visa --- thus allowing us to legally stay in Krabi.  In February of this year, I acquired my U.S. citizenship in Hawaii where I was granted my US passport.  This event marked the end of a long process of making sure that it’s okay for me to stay out of the States for a very long time.  Thinking that since I am no longer a Filipino citizen both Jason and I agreed that I should use my US passport in entering Thailand.  And our first agenda on the first day of our arrival here was to go to the immigration office to figure out how I can transfer all of my visa stuff from my Philippine passport to my US passport.  After explaining our situation with what we thought was enough information to the immigration officers, the advice we got was to wait for October --- the month of my visa renewal.  Needless to say, we took it as raw and as simple as the advice came from the authority we believed understood where we are. 

Our naïveté brought us eight months later to a huge immigration bureaucratic mess that could have ended up with us leaving the country.  Learning of our mistake, our hearts were crushed and, I must admit, I was very angry.  It is never as simple as that.  Not with immigration.  Now we have this exorbitant amount to pay at the border with money we don’t have, and I have to leave the country immediately.  For me to go back, I have to re-apply at the Thai Embassy in Penang, Malaysia hoping to be granted, despite being branded as overstaying for 208 days in Thailand, with a new visa on my new passport. 

We prayed. We spoke to fellow Christians, and they prayed.  We shared with our supporters, and asked for prayer and help.  And we prayed more.  And in 3 days or so, not only did we raise more than enough money to pay the fine and for the trip to the border but our hearts were filled with extreme peace and comfort with the assurance that all will be well. 

We felt your prayer.

We felt God.

The incident that happened turned out to be a reminder for us that God is persistent in keeping His love, in keeping His promises, in keeping us wholly for Him.  He wanted to show His strength when we are totally weak and desperately in need losing any control over the situation.  The confusion at the immigration and the anger that resulted out of it was definitely the enemy’s handiwork, but the glory that came out of the mess because God’s people gathered together in strength for Him was definitely our Lord’s handiwork.  

For some, what happened was mere bad luck.  For us, what happened was a God moment.  One that would make you look to Him and say, “You are indeed amazing and persistent!”

Staying Married is Not About Staying in Love (from "This Momentary Marriage" by John Piper)

Marriage passes through breathtaking heights and through swamps with choking vapors.  It makes many things sweeter, and with it come bitter providences.      - John Piper


In a few days, Jason and I will be celebrating our second anniversary as a couple.  Still on the honeymoon stage, as many would say, and still such a young couple.  In some sense, that is true, but in another it isn't. As you know, we moved to Thailand to obey the Lord's call on our lives.  We are serving the Lord together in a very dark place, and are experiencing the effects of it on all sides of our marriage.  Good and bad.  But the best thing about it is that we have been brought to a different, very intimate height in our relationship not only with each other but, on a personal basis and as a couple, with our God.

We are young and still very much inexperienced in marriage.  We both know that we still have so much to learn, so much we don't fully understand.  But one thing we do know is that marriage is the doing of God.  And ultimately, marriage is the display of God.  These are not my own words.  These are borrowed from John Piper in his book, "This Momentary Marriage."  This is the foundation of marriage.  It exists for God's glory.  Many of us forget that marriage is not just about two people coming together to share a life together, but it is about God joining two very imperfect people in one flesh.  That through marriage we may experience the beauty of God's love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. 

Marriage is patterned after Christ's covenant relationship to His redeemed people, the church.  And therefore, the highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display. That is why marriage exists. If you are married, that is why you are married. If you hope to be, that should be your dream.  (Again, these words are borrowed from John Piper.) This, therefore, means that staying married is not mainly about staying in love, but most importantly, it is keeping covenant.  This also means that marriage is not held together by money, sex, kids, or jobs.  All good things, but also not strong enough to keep the joy and peace in our marriages.  Only God can fully satisfy us in all our needs.  Only God can truly sustain marriages.

We all have been lied to with our culture today of easy love and casual marriages.  We all have come to believe that marriage only lasts as long as these mushy, warm feelings in our hearts stay.  And when these emotions move on, we are left devastated and disillusioned.  Some have learn to stay in the marriage for the sake of it, others have learned to move on and find the "mushy, warm feelings" again with another person.  Only to find out that even with this person it will not stay on. 

Staying married is not mainly about staying in love.  It is about keeping covenant.  I hope we see that the main doer in marriage is God.  May we see it as the wonder God has created it to be; and may we live it as God has purposedly designed it to be.




Jason and I are currently reading the book, "This Momentary Marriage," by John Piper.  I recommend it to everyone who is married and are seeking to be married one day.  I will be posting more about what we have learned from this book in the coming days. 

On "Desiring God"

I am currently reading, "Desiring God" by John Piper; and I have been extremely blessed with the depth and genuineness of his writing catching myself often reflecting on his ideas in the last few days. I have yet to finish the book, but I want to share with you some lines from it that struck me the most. The whole book has got me thinking a lot on loving the Lord and the joy that comes with it, so really these lines are by no means representative of the whole but it will give you a glimpse of the profundity of the subject on desiring God. So here it goes...

"Happiness in God is the end of all our seeking. Nothing beyond it can be sought as a higher goal."

"The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying Him forever."

"This is a subtle thing. We strive against God's all-sufficient glory if we think we can become a means to His end without making joy in Him our end."

"On the contrary, the one who actually sets himself above God is the person who presumes to come to God to give rather than get. With a pretense of self-denial, he positions himself as God's benefactor --- as of if the world and all it contains were not already God's!"

"Strong affections for God, rooted in and shaped by the truth of Scripture --- this is the bone and marrow of biblical worship."

"Love is the overflow of joy in God that gladly meets the needs of others."


"Love is the overflow of joy --- in God! It is not duty for duty's sake or right for right's sake. It is not a resolute abandoning of one's own good with a view solely to the good of the other person. It is first a deeply satisfying experience of the fullness of God's grace, and then a doubly satisfying experience of sharing that grace with another person."

"Love abounds between us when your joy is mine and my joy is yours. I am not loving just because I seek your joy, but because I see it as mine."

"But in truth, everything Christians 'give' to God is simply a rebound of God's gift to them. All our service is done 'in the strength that God supplies' (1 Peter 4:11), so that it is in fact God who 'earns' the reward for us and through us."

" ... there are rare and wonderful species of joy that flourish only in the rainy atmosphere of suffering."

"When the Holy Spirit awakens the heart of a person to delight in the holiness of God, an insatiable desire is born not only to behold that holiness, but also to be holy as God is holy."

"It is an indictment of our own worldliness that we feel more exhilaration when we conquer an external mountain of granite on our own strength than when we conquer the internal mountain of pride in God's strength."

"The miracle of Christian Hedonism is that overcoming obstacles to love by the grace of God has become more enticing than every form of self-confidence. The joy of experiencing the power of God's grace defeating selfishness is an insatiable addiction."

"Normal Christian life is a repeated process of restoration and renewal. Our joy is not static. It fluctuates with real life. It is vulnerable to Satan's attacks."

These are but a few of the lines that caught my attention while reading the book. I hope that it has given you some insight on being a Christian and our happiness in God. But like I said, these lines don't represent everything that the author is trying to convey.

The Lord Will Be Your Light

Do not rejoice over me, my enemy;
When I fall, I will arise;
When I sit in darkness,
The Lord will be a light to me.

                                    Micah 7:8

Have you ever been at a time in your life where everything is falling apart and the enemy seems to be winning? I have; numerous times. At thirty – one, I have gone through the cycle of ups and downs, highs and lows in life too many to count. My life is riddled with questions that most would undoubtedly be left unanswered in my lifetime; and yet, I have so much peace in my heart that one day everything will make perfect sense because I have my God. That is what keeps me together even if circumstances around me are crumbling. Not only does He control everything, but He has already won the battle for me. I can never be defeated, because He holds me.

When life throws you a curveball, you don’t try to evade it and run to preserve your life. When you feel that all odds are against you, you look to the Lord; you worship Him; you thank Him; you praise Him. He will be your light. He will rescue you. He will fight for you.

You see, it’s easier to worship the Lord and to thank Him when all is well and comfortable. The real test comes when you are thrown into the furnace. Will you still sing to Him? If you still do, then you will experience more of His faithfulness and more of His strength. He will show Himself strong in you in the midst of your weakest moments in life. He will not only deliver you from destruction, but will sharpen you as a soldier of His kingdom.

Do not let the enemy take away the joy of your salvation fellow soldier! Do not let him rejoice. For when you fall, you will arise because the Lord is with you. For when you are in darkness, the Lord will be your light.

Be on fire for Him, fueled with overflowing gratefulness and passion for who He is!

Kezia Lewis
11:09 pm
Krabi, Thailand

The Proper Response

Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren.  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.  Of His own will He brought us forth by the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of His creatures. - James 1:16-18


It is easy to be deceived these days.  Today, the world values hard work and independence to a degree of idolizing these characteristics; and we adapt this view without even knowing it.  The danger with this is not that we become hard working people.  The danger rests on the lie that because we are hard working people we can live our lives in any way we want; or that, we have the right to claim all the good things in life and to keep them.

This is a lie that Christians and non-Christians alike buy into; and this lie has robbed us of our joy and peace because we are in constant battle of keeping ourselves afloat so we can guard all the good things in our lives as well as hoard them.  What we have forgotten is that every good gift and every perfect gift is from above!  God owns all of these good things in our lives whether in the form of talents, skills, finances, or families.  He could have chosen to not give them to you or to me, but instead He chose to entrust them to us for a purpose.  He wants us to use these gifts so we can bring honor and glory to Him.  That through these gifts, we might bless others and lead them into seeing His love, His mercy, His grace, and ultimately His gift of salvation.

Our response for these gifts should be one of grateful admiration and praise for Him through living a life with a firm resolution in our hearts that these gifts are not ours to keep but to share and to bless others with.  We are not to live our lives in any way we want, but to live a life that is pleasing to our Lord.

I know it is uncomfortable to think that we don't own anything that we have, but that is the truth.  We don't.  To possess this life and these gifts means that God gave them to us so we can fulfill the purpose He has created us for.  If we constantly insist to live a selfish life, then we will always be seeking for something to fill this seemingly endless emptiness within.

We will never find true satisfaction.  Only He can fill that hole.

A Privilege to Teach in Krabi

Not everyone is called to teach.  Not everyone is given the key to shape our children’s minds.  Not everyone.  To teach is a privilege only a few are blessed with to love.  I am blessed to be called to teach and to love doing it, and I don’t take it lightly or for granted.  My heart is there when I am in the classroom.

Prathom 1 students hard at work

A few months ago, God placed in me a hunger to really connect with the local Thai people and to form friendships with them.  The language has been a big barrier as well as the setting to do this despite living in Thailand.  So I began praying for doors to open and for God to send Thai people in my path and be connected with.  I did not expect my love for teaching to pave the road for answering this prayer, but that is exactly what happened. 

Before the end of January, I was asked to help a local school (Sangthong Vittaya) to teach their Prathom 1 and 2 (equivalent to Grade 1 and 2) English classes for the remaining months of the school year.  Sangthong Vittaya is the largest private school in the province of Krabi with over 4,500 students.  This gave me the opportunity to be in close contact daily with local Thais, both adults and children.  It helped me improve my Thai, start conversations with fellow teachers, and eventually form friendships with some of them.  My term in the school ends this month, but I know that this doesn’t close the door for me to share to them the love of the Lord and the gospel. 

Below are more pictures of my students. 

ฉันรักสอน!!! (I love to teach!!!)

A Sweet Reminder

Psalm 91:1  He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

What an awesome promise from our Father!

In going to Bangkok for our US Embassy appointment, we met some old friends and had the opportunity to join their cell group Wednesday fellowship.  During worship time, I just felt the power of the Holy Spirit in the room and His sweet, sweet presence.  We also heard His message from Psalm 91:1-8.  I had ...

Overwhelming peace.

Indescribable joy.

God just revealed Himself to me in a very intimate way that night; sweetly reminding me of His constant love.  I felt my whole being find strength once more even in the midst of challenges.  The trip turned out to be more than I expected.  It gave me the chance to see the work He is doing in Thailand; how He is moving in the lives of His people in this beautiful country.

Worship in Different Tongues

It has been about three weeks now since Jason and I arrived here in Krabi, and on our first Sunday we had the opportunity to worship with some Thai Christians at Santisuk Church.  On several occasions, we also had the opportunity to study the Bible and worship with overseas Filipino workers as well as Germans in the area.  In the last few days, I have been reflecting back on how privileged I am to be given the chance to hear our Father being worshipped and praised in different tongues, in Chinese, English, Taiwanese, Filipino, and Thai; and how privileged I have been to worship alongside fellow Christians whose language I may not speak, but whose hearts I know is totally surrendered to our God.  

What I have been given, I could have never planned it better.  What I have dreamt of experiencing, God has dreamt far more than I could have ever imagined.  What I thought was the ultimate success, God has entrusted me with far greater things.  The plans I laid down were too small for Him.  He loves me too much to give me less than what He knows is best for me.

My heart is full right now with an overwhelming peace and joy for what He has shown me.  A glimpse of the kind of worship that one day we will all see.  Perfect worship to our Father in different tongues.  

All will bow down before Him.

Dear God, Thank You.  Thank You for your amazing people, for the different languages, for the different ways of life, and for the different styles of worship.  In Jesus Name!

An Abraham Response

Many of you know that today was such a big day for Jason and me, as we have been anticipating my citizenship interview for months that will pave the way for us to leave for Thailand; and today was it.

That's me, around 7:30 a.m. this morning, waiting outside the USCIS building to be allowed in for my interview.

This morning I was shocked and disappointed when an immigration officer of US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) told me that they can't do my interview today because they don't have my A-file (the file that's supposed to contain all my paperwork and information.)  I was --- in all humanly possible way to react in this situation ('in my opinion') --- literally shaking and very much disappointed to hear this.  Jason and I walked out of the building silent.  

Jason, as always, was positive about the whole situation.  With his encouragement, I shifted my focus on how God wants me to respond to this to honor Him.  I must admit, though, that I was still feeling discouraged and confused with the whole thing.  My mind was just going into all directions --- back and forth from what the immigration officer said to the decisions we have to make in the coming days.  

This afternoon I opened my email not really expecting anything, but hoping for something.  God spoke.  In my email from Derek Prince Ministries, God spoke.  The words, “Do not allow questions to arise in your heart concerning My timing. My plans are moving according to My schedule, and they are right on time,” echoed in my ears and in my heart.  

In that email was His word on Habakkuk 2:3, “For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.”  This flooded my whole body with so much peace.  It came in perfect timing!  I excitedly exclaimed to Jason, "God spoke to me right now!"  I needed to hear from Him, and He spoke to me.  It’s amazing how our Father can calm our hearts and our storms.  He knows exactly what we need. 

This is my opportunity to respond as Abraham did.  In Romans 4:20 – 21, “yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.”  God will fulfill what He has promised to me --- to us.  What He began, He will finish.  Oh! May my heart be rescued from unbelief and declare at all times, “I believe, Lord.  Thy will be done!”

The waiting period is never easy, and sometimes can be very frustrating; but, the waiting period allows us to grow.  The Lord is not after our "own welfare," but He is after our characters.  In doing this, He is realizing a far greater purpose than an answered prayer.  

Father, increase my faith.  Help me to be patient.  Help me to trust You completely in this period of waiting.  This is but a part of a larger scheme that You will ultimately bring together for Your glory at Your appointed time.  Help me to rise in this occasion the way You want me to and to grow in the assurance of Your love.

Declaring my trust in Your perfect plan,

Kezia

Unloading (Physically and Spiritually)

In the last few days, I have been going through heaps of files, books, bags, electronic stuff, jewelry, etc. trying to decide which ones to throw, to give, to sell, and to pack with me to Thailand.  It never occurred to me that I have accumulated so much stuff in the last 6 years of being here in Windsor until I have gone through every single paper/item in my stack.  I must say, this is a feat; and I have yet to go over my clothes, shoes, and other items.

Below are pictures of the initial stack I have gone through. This took me at least a week, and it is only the beginning.

As a woman (and a pack rat at that), what I am doing right now is not easy.  I am not only emotionally attached to many of these items, but I have associated so many of them to something necessary to my survival.  Letting go of a book or a CD is like letting go of who I am.  But is it? 

A conversation with my husband has helped me set some perspective of what is truly important and what I really need.  Don't get me wrong.  I rebelled with the thought of what he said, but it made perfect sense.  Do I really need this book or that CD to survive when we go to His field and do the work He asked us to do?  The voice within me clearly said, "No."  So I set my mind of letting go and letting my heart learn to not hold on to any of these items; and my spirit became really light and I knew that I am on the right course.  I am liberating myself from the spiritual stronghold of "my stuff" that I have unknowingly allowed to take a space in my heart.  I feel so free inside of me.

Day in and day out, our modern day culture has taught us that as we have more we are better.  The world has subtly made us believe in this lie; we have embraced it consciously yet unconciously.  But as we add one more item to our stack of toys, we bind ourselves tighter to this temporary world making it difficult for us to move to where God wants us to be.  Somehow as we have more possessions, we become trapped in where we are.  Our possessions now possess us.  We make decisions based on what we bought or the items we have acquired --- our cars, our houses, our clothes, our lifestyle.  I don't think there is something wrong with buying things or living comfortably.  The danger lies when our hearts are not in the right place --- when we let things or comfort cast a shadow on what God has for us. 

Well, I have much to learn as I go through "my possessions" in the coming weeks.  It is hard, yet it is easy to let go of these things.  I must say, nothing compares to the joy that comes when you know you are obeying God's voice.

Unloading what's not important and loading (and soaking) in His promises and love,

Kezia

Esther and I (Part 2)

Self-preservation. 

Esther could not imagine how Mordecai could suggest to her to go to the King unsummoned to save her fellow Jews.  The cost is too much.  It could be the end of her.   But then again, what if God gave her the crown as Persia's queen for such a time as this?

Like Esther, I am guilty of self-preservation.  I have felt fear for my own pride and my fleshly concerns.  Why do I have to stand up for what is right?  Why do I have to fight for what I believe in?  The cost is too much.  It could be the end of me.  But then again, what if God placed me where I am right now for such a time as this.

Sometimes it seems unthinkable what we need to do for God's kingdom, but we need to remember that what we have and what we are now are from Him.  He died for us.  That alone deserves not only our attention, but our obedience.  There is nothing we can do that can ever repay what He did for us.  It may seem like we are sacrificing for Him, but what are we sacrificing when we don't really own anything?  When even our lives, He bought with His blood. 

Our existence is not a mere accident in this world that just happened out of nowhere.  We have what we have and we are what we are for a greater purpose; a purpose beyond our desire to secure stability for our lives here on earth or the protection of our comforts; a purpose that is far greater than what we think is important in this world; a purpose that will ultimately bring glory to our Creator.

A purpose like Esther's.  And that is what makes you significant.

Esther and I (Part 1)

Recently, I have been studying the book of Esther along with other women from the "The Eternal Answer (TEA) Party" using Beth Moore's study guide.  Even before we began the study, I was already excited to do it because I love Esther's story.  Who doesn't?  I mean, just imagine an orphaned girl becoming a queen.  Every woman loves stories like that.  But I was in for a surprise.  There was more to Esther's rags to riches story than I thought.  And I love what God is showing me through another lens revealing angles I have never seen before. 

Esther, who lost both of her parents, grew up in the care of her uncle was not exactly free of pain; I bet she wasn't exactly proud of growing up an orphan.  But God chose her. 

"God chose you not  in spite of your history, but because of it."  - Beth Moore

This one hit me hard.  My history is not exactly as simple as growing up with Mama and Papa.  But God chose me.  He chose me not in spite of my history, but because of it.  Wow!...God definitely spoke to my heart through the words of Beth and the story of Esther.  I now see that everything in my life is for a reason.  God is using who I am, what I am, and what I will become to show His mercy, His love, and His glory.   And that my sister is more than comforting to me --- that to me is AWESOME!

I want you to know that if He can use Esther, if He can use somebody like me, then He can definitely use YOU.  Know that He is at work in your life, just wait and see.