A Sweet Reminder

Psalm 91:1  He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

What an awesome promise from our Father!

In going to Bangkok for our US Embassy appointment, we met some old friends and had the opportunity to join their cell group Wednesday fellowship.  During worship time, I just felt the power of the Holy Spirit in the room and His sweet, sweet presence.  We also heard His message from Psalm 91:1-8.  I had ...

Overwhelming peace.

Indescribable joy.

God just revealed Himself to me in a very intimate way that night; sweetly reminding me of His constant love.  I felt my whole being find strength once more even in the midst of challenges.  The trip turned out to be more than I expected.  It gave me the chance to see the work He is doing in Thailand; how He is moving in the lives of His people in this beautiful country.

Worship in Different Tongues

It has been about three weeks now since Jason and I arrived here in Krabi, and on our first Sunday we had the opportunity to worship with some Thai Christians at Santisuk Church.  On several occasions, we also had the opportunity to study the Bible and worship with overseas Filipino workers as well as Germans in the area.  In the last few days, I have been reflecting back on how privileged I am to be given the chance to hear our Father being worshipped and praised in different tongues, in Chinese, English, Taiwanese, Filipino, and Thai; and how privileged I have been to worship alongside fellow Christians whose language I may not speak, but whose hearts I know is totally surrendered to our God.  

What I have been given, I could have never planned it better.  What I have dreamt of experiencing, God has dreamt far more than I could have ever imagined.  What I thought was the ultimate success, God has entrusted me with far greater things.  The plans I laid down were too small for Him.  He loves me too much to give me less than what He knows is best for me.

My heart is full right now with an overwhelming peace and joy for what He has shown me.  A glimpse of the kind of worship that one day we will all see.  Perfect worship to our Father in different tongues.  

All will bow down before Him.

Dear God, Thank You.  Thank You for your amazing people, for the different languages, for the different ways of life, and for the different styles of worship.  In Jesus Name!

An Abraham Response

Many of you know that today was such a big day for Jason and me, as we have been anticipating my citizenship interview for months that will pave the way for us to leave for Thailand; and today was it.

That's me, around 7:30 a.m. this morning, waiting outside the USCIS building to be allowed in for my interview.

This morning I was shocked and disappointed when an immigration officer of US Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) told me that they can't do my interview today because they don't have my A-file (the file that's supposed to contain all my paperwork and information.)  I was --- in all humanly possible way to react in this situation ('in my opinion') --- literally shaking and very much disappointed to hear this.  Jason and I walked out of the building silent.  

Jason, as always, was positive about the whole situation.  With his encouragement, I shifted my focus on how God wants me to respond to this to honor Him.  I must admit, though, that I was still feeling discouraged and confused with the whole thing.  My mind was just going into all directions --- back and forth from what the immigration officer said to the decisions we have to make in the coming days.  

This afternoon I opened my email not really expecting anything, but hoping for something.  God spoke.  In my email from Derek Prince Ministries, God spoke.  The words, “Do not allow questions to arise in your heart concerning My timing. My plans are moving according to My schedule, and they are right on time,” echoed in my ears and in my heart.  

In that email was His word on Habakkuk 2:3, “For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay.”  This flooded my whole body with so much peace.  It came in perfect timing!  I excitedly exclaimed to Jason, "God spoke to me right now!"  I needed to hear from Him, and He spoke to me.  It’s amazing how our Father can calm our hearts and our storms.  He knows exactly what we need. 

This is my opportunity to respond as Abraham did.  In Romans 4:20 – 21, “yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.”  God will fulfill what He has promised to me --- to us.  What He began, He will finish.  Oh! May my heart be rescued from unbelief and declare at all times, “I believe, Lord.  Thy will be done!”

The waiting period is never easy, and sometimes can be very frustrating; but, the waiting period allows us to grow.  The Lord is not after our "own welfare," but He is after our characters.  In doing this, He is realizing a far greater purpose than an answered prayer.  

Father, increase my faith.  Help me to be patient.  Help me to trust You completely in this period of waiting.  This is but a part of a larger scheme that You will ultimately bring together for Your glory at Your appointed time.  Help me to rise in this occasion the way You want me to and to grow in the assurance of Your love.

Declaring my trust in Your perfect plan,

Kezia

Unloading (Physically and Spiritually)

In the last few days, I have been going through heaps of files, books, bags, electronic stuff, jewelry, etc. trying to decide which ones to throw, to give, to sell, and to pack with me to Thailand.  It never occurred to me that I have accumulated so much stuff in the last 6 years of being here in Windsor until I have gone through every single paper/item in my stack.  I must say, this is a feat; and I have yet to go over my clothes, shoes, and other items.

Below are pictures of the initial stack I have gone through. This took me at least a week, and it is only the beginning.

As a woman (and a pack rat at that), what I am doing right now is not easy.  I am not only emotionally attached to many of these items, but I have associated so many of them to something necessary to my survival.  Letting go of a book or a CD is like letting go of who I am.  But is it? 

A conversation with my husband has helped me set some perspective of what is truly important and what I really need.  Don't get me wrong.  I rebelled with the thought of what he said, but it made perfect sense.  Do I really need this book or that CD to survive when we go to His field and do the work He asked us to do?  The voice within me clearly said, "No."  So I set my mind of letting go and letting my heart learn to not hold on to any of these items; and my spirit became really light and I knew that I am on the right course.  I am liberating myself from the spiritual stronghold of "my stuff" that I have unknowingly allowed to take a space in my heart.  I feel so free inside of me.

Day in and day out, our modern day culture has taught us that as we have more we are better.  The world has subtly made us believe in this lie; we have embraced it consciously yet unconciously.  But as we add one more item to our stack of toys, we bind ourselves tighter to this temporary world making it difficult for us to move to where God wants us to be.  Somehow as we have more possessions, we become trapped in where we are.  Our possessions now possess us.  We make decisions based on what we bought or the items we have acquired --- our cars, our houses, our clothes, our lifestyle.  I don't think there is something wrong with buying things or living comfortably.  The danger lies when our hearts are not in the right place --- when we let things or comfort cast a shadow on what God has for us. 

Well, I have much to learn as I go through "my possessions" in the coming weeks.  It is hard, yet it is easy to let go of these things.  I must say, nothing compares to the joy that comes when you know you are obeying God's voice.

Unloading what's not important and loading (and soaking) in His promises and love,

Kezia

Esther and I (Part 2)

Self-preservation. 

Esther could not imagine how Mordecai could suggest to her to go to the King unsummoned to save her fellow Jews.  The cost is too much.  It could be the end of her.   But then again, what if God gave her the crown as Persia's queen for such a time as this?

Like Esther, I am guilty of self-preservation.  I have felt fear for my own pride and my fleshly concerns.  Why do I have to stand up for what is right?  Why do I have to fight for what I believe in?  The cost is too much.  It could be the end of me.  But then again, what if God placed me where I am right now for such a time as this.

Sometimes it seems unthinkable what we need to do for God's kingdom, but we need to remember that what we have and what we are now are from Him.  He died for us.  That alone deserves not only our attention, but our obedience.  There is nothing we can do that can ever repay what He did for us.  It may seem like we are sacrificing for Him, but what are we sacrificing when we don't really own anything?  When even our lives, He bought with His blood. 

Our existence is not a mere accident in this world that just happened out of nowhere.  We have what we have and we are what we are for a greater purpose; a purpose beyond our desire to secure stability for our lives here on earth or the protection of our comforts; a purpose that is far greater than what we think is important in this world; a purpose that will ultimately bring glory to our Creator.

A purpose like Esther's.  And that is what makes you significant.

Esther and I (Part 1)

Recently, I have been studying the book of Esther along with other women from the "The Eternal Answer (TEA) Party" using Beth Moore's study guide.  Even before we began the study, I was already excited to do it because I love Esther's story.  Who doesn't?  I mean, just imagine an orphaned girl becoming a queen.  Every woman loves stories like that.  But I was in for a surprise.  There was more to Esther's rags to riches story than I thought.  And I love what God is showing me through another lens revealing angles I have never seen before. 

Esther, who lost both of her parents, grew up in the care of her uncle was not exactly free of pain; I bet she wasn't exactly proud of growing up an orphan.  But God chose her. 

"God chose you not  in spite of your history, but because of it."  - Beth Moore

This one hit me hard.  My history is not exactly as simple as growing up with Mama and Papa.  But God chose me.  He chose me not in spite of my history, but because of it.  Wow!...God definitely spoke to my heart through the words of Beth and the story of Esther.  I now see that everything in my life is for a reason.  God is using who I am, what I am, and what I will become to show His mercy, His love, and His glory.   And that my sister is more than comforting to me --- that to me is AWESOME!

I want you to know that if He can use Esther, if He can use somebody like me, then He can definitely use YOU.  Know that He is at work in your life, just wait and see.